he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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