I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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