To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize