i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
