For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
