omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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