I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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