I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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