The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
