She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
