I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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