It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
