He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I smell stomach acid.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
