How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
