Pappa wants mamma naked
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I didn't notice because vodka
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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