1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
