is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
