think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's blow job season.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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