Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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