Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You've changed since you got that strap on
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
