Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
