I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
where am i from again
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
