Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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