also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
