Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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