are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
