gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
