The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
this will be a night to untag.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dicks are not precious.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
