you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
