That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
