does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Randomize
