3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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