If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
