just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
did you just send me my own nude
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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