Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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