I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
