So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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