let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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