How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
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