It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
