so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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