Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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