At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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