YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
