What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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