I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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