i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
