Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There r osticjed everywhere
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
