the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Randomize
