hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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