This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Randomize
