Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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