when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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