So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
